I love movies. I always have. I can watch a movie over and over and over. Many times God speaks to me through movies. Some of my favorites are: While You Were Sleeping, Princess Bride, King Arthur, Robin Hood (Russell Crowe). Some great lines are in these movies. From King Arthur, "No man fears to kneel before the God he trusts." O how sweet that is.
I grew up in "religion". You know, can't dance, can't wear make-up, can't go roller skating because of the satan music they play.... One day I asked my mom what I "could" do. She was speechless. Through my walk I have discovered an intimate relationship with "God". He is my Heavenly Abba, my Daddy. That may offend some, but the closeness has given me the privilege to know Him that way. Another one of my favorites is NCIS. There is a scene in season 8 where Ziva David is looking for her father. She goes to the synagogue where he is hiding out and she starts at the back of the building crying out his name. Abba, Abba, Abba..... As I watched, I heard that soft Voice say, "That is what I want My children to do. Walk into a situation, a place, enemy's territory and cry out My Name, Abba, Daddy, Father, and I will rush in." There is no fear to humble myself before Daddy who I trust. I trust Him with my life, my family, my finances, my future. He knows my pain, my joys, my tears, and my laughter.
In Robin Hood, "Rise and rise again until lambs become lions" is echoed. It is said to mean 'never give up'. In my life I have had to rise and rise again, never giving up. I lived in a household where depression was hid. I married into a family that did not accept me. I lost a child. I battled and AM completely healed of two cancers, I have been told 3 times I will die (ha). I have lost a marriage, I have walked though a horrible divorce. I have fought for my children's rights and protection. I have been accused of horrible things. I have been lied to, stabbed in the back, deceived, used, abused....BUT I rise and rise again. See, even the Word of God says a righteous man falls seven times, but he gets up again (Proverbs 24:16). We must rise and rise again. We must become lions for our generation and the generations to come.
I was texting with a family member and sharing stories of my aunt (his grandmother). In sharing life stories we encourage others by examples of warriors rising up. She had to rise and rise again to fight for her children's children's children. She is her grandson's rock, demonstration of faith here on earth, instructions on how to live life and live it boldly. Rise and rise again is for the humble, faithful, loyal, trustworthy, righteous, determined, lovers of the Most High God. Sometimes in our struggles we feel like King Arthur standing all alone on the hill ready to face the whole Saxon army. But I know I have reinforcements in the unseen realm. I have angels of the Lord's Army standing beside me, Holy Spirit raging in me, and the Holy Word flowing from my deep inner soul.
I want at the end of my life (I tell my kids I am living to be 103) on my gravestone it to be written "And the Legacy Begins". What are you rising for? What are you leaving behind? Pain struck, empty victims or faith filled, battle ready warriors.....
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
At the end of my rope....
Interesting how God is not limited to how He answers prayers. I have come to the end of my rope in certain areas of my life. No hope, no movement, no answers, just a complete stand still, silence.... "Daddy, what do I do? Give me a sign of hope. HELP!" Still, I only hear silence. Then this morning, someone emails me a link. Before I opened it, Daddy whispered, "I've got this...." The answer. Circumstances have NOT changed, but there is Daddy holding me in the midst of the darkness, hope and love abounding. Below is the blog I read from David Wilkerson. I felt the need to repost it for those who are struggling through their valley of death.
"To believe when all means fail is exceedingly pleasing to God and is most acceptable. Jesus said to Thomas, “You have believed because you have seen, but blessed are those that do believe and have not seen” (John 20:29).
Blessed are those who believe when there is no evidence of an answer to prayer—who trust beyond hope when all means have failed. Someone has come to the place of hopelessness—the end of hope—the end of all means. A loved one is facing death and doctors give no hope. Death seems inevitable. Hope is gone. The miracle prayed for is not happening.
That is when satan’s hordes come to attack your mind with fear, anger, overwhelming questions: “Where is your God now? You prayed until you had no tears left. You fasted. You stood on promises. You trusted.” Blasphemous thoughts will be injected into your mind: “Prayer failed. Faith failed. Don’t quit on God—just do not trust Him anymore. It doesn’t pay!” Even questioning God’s existence will be injected into your mind. These have been the devices of satan for centuries. Some of the godliest men and women who ever lived were under such demonic attacks.
To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of My plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let Me embrace you in your hour of pain.”
Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail—His love prevails. Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in His Word. There is no other hope in this world."
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Who is my neighbor.....
This past Saturday, 62 tornadoes touched down in my state. In my community, only one life was lost. God's grace was on us. On Tuesday, about 25 people went out into one of the worse hit areas to help 'clean up'. I was not prepared for what I tried to comprehend. Less than a quarter of a mile, life was 'normal'. Then we turned down a street to what seemed to be a bombed war zone. Words cannot begin to describe what we saw.
As I came home tired, sore, and sunburned, I started thinking about the days' events, the people who couldn't go home, the ones who have no electricity, running water, roof on their home.... In my lifetime I have heard tens of thousands of sermons. Some never leave you and stand out when you are in those quiet moments. While reflecting on the days events, one came to mind. We had a guest pastor come to our church and preached on the 'good Samaritan'. (Luke 10:25-37) It was delivered in a way that stood out from the rest.
Who is my neighbor? A man was just going about his daily life when 'bam, life happened'. It was a tornado in our community. Gaukers, sight seers, drive-by nosy on-lookers came to see who was hit, damaged done, and how sad it really is. But then some 'Samaritans' rode up, got off their asses, rolled up their sleeves, and started helping. How do you help? It was overwhelming at first, but trees needed to be cut, people needed to be hugged, roofs needed to be covered, belongings needed to be removed, tears needed to be shared, meals needed to be prepared.....
We got to go home, take showers, eat hot dinners, and lay in a soft bed. There is still such a need. Just for a touch, a kind word, hot meal, to help build their lives again.....
As I came home tired, sore, and sunburned, I started thinking about the days' events, the people who couldn't go home, the ones who have no electricity, running water, roof on their home.... In my lifetime I have heard tens of thousands of sermons. Some never leave you and stand out when you are in those quiet moments. While reflecting on the days events, one came to mind. We had a guest pastor come to our church and preached on the 'good Samaritan'. (Luke 10:25-37) It was delivered in a way that stood out from the rest.
Who is my neighbor? A man was just going about his daily life when 'bam, life happened'. It was a tornado in our community. Gaukers, sight seers, drive-by nosy on-lookers came to see who was hit, damaged done, and how sad it really is. But then some 'Samaritans' rode up, got off their asses, rolled up their sleeves, and started helping. How do you help? It was overwhelming at first, but trees needed to be cut, people needed to be hugged, roofs needed to be covered, belongings needed to be removed, tears needed to be shared, meals needed to be prepared.....
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| Trying to salvage what they can..... |
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| Remember people were home.... |
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| Protection by the hand of God..... |
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| The stroller is still standing by the front door..... |
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| The building is totally gone, yet everything is still in the garage... |
Monday, April 18, 2011
I want a man.....
I was praying and I told God "I want a man..." God replied, "So do I." Well, that got my attention. God what do you mean? He replied, "I want real men who will stand up for My Kingdom, warriors with a passion to fight for what is right and just, to cover the body of Christ and yet so full of My Love." Oh, is that all.... So I began to meditate about this. Proverbs 20:5 says the purpose in a man's heart is like deep water.
As a home school mom, I read books before having my children read them. Thus, we can have discussions about the literature. A book was recommended for my son to read, Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. Where are the real men? Have you ever shook a man's hand and it felt like a wet noodle? Have you ever walked into a church and all the men were passive? They were 'sweet, nice men'. You mention adventure and a gleam of light comes into their eyes. You know the danger I am talking about, requisite of danger and wildness, deep longing to be like Grizzly Adams. I just saw the perfect example. Our community was hit hard by tornadoes, I called my son to tell him I volunteered him to help with clean up. As he rendezvous with other men, excitement rose...We, men, are going to chain saw the wilderness, build sturdy shelters, and make a mark on society. Albert Schweitzer said "Tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives." Exodus 15:3 states The Lord is a man of war; The Lord is His Name.
In my waiting for God to bring my husband into my life, I have been told some doozies."You are looking to hard." "God is your source, not a man (hear my heart, I know God is my source) and meets ALL your needs." "You don't need a man to complete you." I am an honorable, respectful woman, who is not going on a man hunt, bar hopping, or jumping at every single man in the room. I went to prayer and asked my Daddy. He said my husband is coming. So I believe, watch, and wait. If you pray about something, shouldn't you watch for it?! And my husband will cover me and his household, meeting the needs of the family, financial security, value, worth and love. I am looking for the gift of a husband He is bringing me. A warrior. The world kills a woman's heart when they tell her to be tough, efficient, independent, suck it up and drive on. That only leads to us being tired.
See, God is looking for warriors also. Warriors are cunning, know when to fight and when to run. They sense a trap, discern the times, never charge blindly ahead. A warrior knows what weapons to carry and how to use them. Life is an adventure to be lived. God wants not merely an adventure but an adventure to be shared. Every man is a warrior inside, but the choice to fight is his own. I want a man who will fight for me, my family, Kingdom principles, and the lost. What would Robin Hood and King Arthur be without the women they loved. Just lonely men fighting lonely battles. One of my favorite movies is King Arthur (with Clive Owens). The character Dagonet is the type of warrior/man I am talking about. The character portrays honor, loyalty, faithfulness, strength, and when he finds the young boy hurt, tenderness is shown. He tells the boy "You will not fear me." Dagonet fights the religious faction to protect the boy. Isn't that the kind of men the body of Christ needs? Me and my family needs?
Was Jesus more like Mother Teresa or William Wallace? Eldredge asks. I see Jesus as a warrior, fighting for what was just and right, turning over tables in His Father's House, picking fights with the Pharisees (healing on Sabbath, touching the unclean, calling them vipers, Luke 13:10-17), casting out demons but had compassion on the harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Remember He is the Lion of Judah.
Nothing is worth having without some kind of fight or cost. I am so glad God fought for me. I am looking for the man God is bringing to my household, who will fight also.... Heidi Bakker said "It is easy to die for Jesus but it is more difficult to live fully for Him". God wants many Dagonets. I want a Dagonet.....
http://video.movies.go.com/kingarthur/mainsite.html
As a home school mom, I read books before having my children read them. Thus, we can have discussions about the literature. A book was recommended for my son to read, Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. Where are the real men? Have you ever shook a man's hand and it felt like a wet noodle? Have you ever walked into a church and all the men were passive? They were 'sweet, nice men'. You mention adventure and a gleam of light comes into their eyes. You know the danger I am talking about, requisite of danger and wildness, deep longing to be like Grizzly Adams. I just saw the perfect example. Our community was hit hard by tornadoes, I called my son to tell him I volunteered him to help with clean up. As he rendezvous with other men, excitement rose...We, men, are going to chain saw the wilderness, build sturdy shelters, and make a mark on society. Albert Schweitzer said "Tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives." Exodus 15:3 states The Lord is a man of war; The Lord is His Name.
In my waiting for God to bring my husband into my life, I have been told some doozies."You are looking to hard." "God is your source, not a man (hear my heart, I know God is my source) and meets ALL your needs." "You don't need a man to complete you." I am an honorable, respectful woman, who is not going on a man hunt, bar hopping, or jumping at every single man in the room. I went to prayer and asked my Daddy. He said my husband is coming. So I believe, watch, and wait. If you pray about something, shouldn't you watch for it?! And my husband will cover me and his household, meeting the needs of the family, financial security, value, worth and love. I am looking for the gift of a husband He is bringing me. A warrior. The world kills a woman's heart when they tell her to be tough, efficient, independent, suck it up and drive on. That only leads to us being tired.
See, God is looking for warriors also. Warriors are cunning, know when to fight and when to run. They sense a trap, discern the times, never charge blindly ahead. A warrior knows what weapons to carry and how to use them. Life is an adventure to be lived. God wants not merely an adventure but an adventure to be shared. Every man is a warrior inside, but the choice to fight is his own. I want a man who will fight for me, my family, Kingdom principles, and the lost. What would Robin Hood and King Arthur be without the women they loved. Just lonely men fighting lonely battles. One of my favorite movies is King Arthur (with Clive Owens). The character Dagonet is the type of warrior/man I am talking about. The character portrays honor, loyalty, faithfulness, strength, and when he finds the young boy hurt, tenderness is shown. He tells the boy "You will not fear me." Dagonet fights the religious faction to protect the boy. Isn't that the kind of men the body of Christ needs? Me and my family needs?
Was Jesus more like Mother Teresa or William Wallace? Eldredge asks. I see Jesus as a warrior, fighting for what was just and right, turning over tables in His Father's House, picking fights with the Pharisees (healing on Sabbath, touching the unclean, calling them vipers, Luke 13:10-17), casting out demons but had compassion on the harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Remember He is the Lion of Judah.
Nothing is worth having without some kind of fight or cost. I am so glad God fought for me. I am looking for the man God is bringing to my household, who will fight also.... Heidi Bakker said "It is easy to die for Jesus but it is more difficult to live fully for Him". God wants many Dagonets. I want a Dagonet.....
http://video.movies.go.com/kingarthur/mainsite.html
Thursday, April 7, 2011
An Outcast....
Heard a song today. I have heard it a few times and really liked it. It was almost a drawing towards it. So I looked up the lyrics and it describes ME. It made me think about my life, past and present. It made me ponder questions that resonated in my spirit. Do I stand my ground? The Words He has given me, do I fight for them? At what cost? Do I give in?
My whole life, I have been different... I have never "fit in" or been the "popular" one. Only because of maturity is there now a filter on what I speak out loud. But in my intimate times, Daddy and I have had some interesting conversations. So the first fight (yes I said first, there were others) I was in was because a girl said I was always smiling. When I stood up to her, ducked on her first punch, but made contact between my fist and her cheek, we became close friends. She told me I was the first girl to not take her 'crap' and stand up for who I was. How many times does the enemy throw punches and we compromise while taking his 'crap'. We are to stand up for what we believe.
As an adult, do I still get into fights? You bet! My relationship with my Daddy is always under attack from the enemy. I have to fight to spend time in prayer, soaking, reading His Word, talking, or just being with Him on a moment by moment basis. Sometimes I say things that cut and offend others. I support issues close to His heart that are, in today society, controversial. (Pro Life, Man & Woman Marriages, His Word is Truth)
As for my family, totally! I walked through a very painful and ugly divorce. I fought for my children, I fought against abuse, I fought for wholeness in our lives. This is a moment by moment effort because the fight is still going on. Covering the family with prayer, love, joy, security, and hope.
As for my health, absolutely! By His stripes I am healed... I have been healed of two cancers: Choriocarcinoma and Leukemia. I have been told three times I was going to die. I have fought, and still fighting, thyroid disease, adrenal fatigue, and celiac disease. HA, they don't know who my Daddy is! I am healed. I declare it daily.
In 2 Timothy 4:7, Paul states, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have remained faithful..." What I am living for is so much better than what the world has to offer. I don't follow all the rules 'they' make, I don't sugar coat what is undeniable, I am an outcast. What I believe makes me strong because in Him the weak are strong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfJ2-N5EGRY
My whole life, I have been different... I have never "fit in" or been the "popular" one. Only because of maturity is there now a filter on what I speak out loud. But in my intimate times, Daddy and I have had some interesting conversations. So the first fight (yes I said first, there were others) I was in was because a girl said I was always smiling. When I stood up to her, ducked on her first punch, but made contact between my fist and her cheek, we became close friends. She told me I was the first girl to not take her 'crap' and stand up for who I was. How many times does the enemy throw punches and we compromise while taking his 'crap'. We are to stand up for what we believe.
As an adult, do I still get into fights? You bet! My relationship with my Daddy is always under attack from the enemy. I have to fight to spend time in prayer, soaking, reading His Word, talking, or just being with Him on a moment by moment basis. Sometimes I say things that cut and offend others. I support issues close to His heart that are, in today society, controversial. (Pro Life, Man & Woman Marriages, His Word is Truth)
As for my family, totally! I walked through a very painful and ugly divorce. I fought for my children, I fought against abuse, I fought for wholeness in our lives. This is a moment by moment effort because the fight is still going on. Covering the family with prayer, love, joy, security, and hope.
As for my health, absolutely! By His stripes I am healed... I have been healed of two cancers: Choriocarcinoma and Leukemia. I have been told three times I was going to die. I have fought, and still fighting, thyroid disease, adrenal fatigue, and celiac disease. HA, they don't know who my Daddy is! I am healed. I declare it daily.
In 2 Timothy 4:7, Paul states, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have remained faithful..." What I am living for is so much better than what the world has to offer. I don't follow all the rules 'they' make, I don't sugar coat what is undeniable, I am an outcast. What I believe makes me strong because in Him the weak are strong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfJ2-N5EGRY
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
A Miracle....
On Sunday, while being fed meat, the Word was so savory that all week I have mediated on it. The passage was from Luke 8:22-40. Talk about left turns. Jesus tells His guys, "Let's go across the lake." Jesus knew what was before them. So they got in the boat. These were fishermen. They were afraid, so that tells me it was one heck of a storm. In my life, I am confident in who I am and my purpose. But sometimes storms come and I am totally afraid. But just like the guys in the boat, I know where to run, who to shake, how to cry out to... My Daddy ALWAYS answers me! They land and a naked crazed man is their greeting committee. (I try to avoid those kind of men) But he needed what the guys in the boat needed...a miracle!
It is interesting that the guys in the boat and the demoniac needed a miracle, a life changing event to happen immediately. They ran to Jesus. They received. But it is amazing how the people around them acted, friends, family, townspeople, local church, they demanded that Jesus leave. They liked the way things were. Some people in your life don't want you to have a miracle. They don't want change. Jesus went through a storm and came across a lake for one man, who need of desperation was so great that only a radical miracle was the solution. That is love. My Daddy comes when I have a need. See, I run to Him because He is in my boat, He is on the shore of my chaos. I believe in Jesus with every ounce of energy in me, but sometimes I have to cry out, humble myself, and ask for Daddy to help with my unbelief. That is when I am stretched. My need is daily.
I am so blessed to belong to an intimate family. I am believing for life changing events to happen immediately. I need daily miracles. I belong to Daddy, Abba!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GeVf1XQOPg
It is interesting that the guys in the boat and the demoniac needed a miracle, a life changing event to happen immediately. They ran to Jesus. They received. But it is amazing how the people around them acted, friends, family, townspeople, local church, they demanded that Jesus leave. They liked the way things were. Some people in your life don't want you to have a miracle. They don't want change. Jesus went through a storm and came across a lake for one man, who need of desperation was so great that only a radical miracle was the solution. That is love. My Daddy comes when I have a need. See, I run to Him because He is in my boat, He is on the shore of my chaos. I believe in Jesus with every ounce of energy in me, but sometimes I have to cry out, humble myself, and ask for Daddy to help with my unbelief. That is when I am stretched. My need is daily.
I am so blessed to belong to an intimate family. I am believing for life changing events to happen immediately. I need daily miracles. I belong to Daddy, Abba!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GeVf1XQOPg
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