What does it feel like to be a mother? That was the question I was asked. I pondered it for awhile. I came up with an analogy.
Becoming and being a mother is like hearing there is a new roller coaster ride at an amusement park. You are so excited about it and want to participate. You hear rumors about how it is going to be. Excitement, anxiety, fear, nervousness, and joy all well up inside of you. Then the time comes when you 'get' to go to the amusement park. The day you find out you are expecting. You arrive anticipating the new adventure and find out you have to stand in a huge, long line. Nine months of waiting to be exact. Emotions run wild. The moment arrives for your bundle of joy to grace your life. You buckle yourself into the roller coaster ride seat and hold on for dear life. With every click, click, click, click, your world is full of pain, laughter, fear, joy, then you crest the top of the ride. A baby is born. From that point on, the ride plunges (drool, feedings, coos), spins (crawling, walking, first words), dips (losing first tooth), twists (Kindergarten), twirls (scrapes, colds, sick child), rises (hugs and kisses, bed-time stories), flips (jr. high, new friendships), turns (drivers education, first job), whirls (high school graduation, starting college) and you grip with all your might, scream, and even sometimes throw your hands up in the air exuberant with life. At the end of the ride, you loved every moment, with no regrets, and wish it didn't go by so fast.
Being a mother is the most rewarding, fulfilling adventure I have ever been on. I have raised a strong will daughter and an adventurous son. Both of whom I am so proud of. I have cried, prayed, screamed, laughed, closed my eyes many times but it is all worth it. A mother is who you become. It's not a job or something that can be turned on or off. It is loving, stretching, and growing as a person as you are raising up productive, strong adults. I am a guardian and warrior that train others to impact the world. I am now entering into a new realm of motherhood: confidant, guidance, counselor, friend. Many and I mean many times, I was flat on my face crying at the feet of my Daddy. He is my Savior in so many ways. Motherhood brings out the inner most parts of who you are. Holding a newborn for the first time, impacts your world beyond reasoning. Holding your 16 year old in excruciating pain caused from a broken bone, impacts your world beyond reasoning. You hold tightly on to your Lord and Savior and cherish and pray for every moment. It is a day by day journey that is overwhelmingly satisfying. It takes on different looks and feels through the years but you never stop being a mom!
This past weekend we had my son's open house. On display were all his pictures through the years, some alone and some with the family. With each picture there was a memory attached. With each picture there were either laughter or tears and sometimes both attached. I cried. What more could a person ask for?! A life, full of love, compassion, Christ, standing on their own.... Our children.
I couldn't imagine my life any other way.
