Autumn....

I love this time of year.... The smells, the colors, the crispness of the air.  I went to the pumpkin patch today.  How fun it was to watching little ones trying to pick out the 'perfect' pumpkin.  Take time today to thank Daddy for season changes (Spiritual and literal).  Take time to smell, see, taste, hear, and feel the autumn around you.  Go on a hay ride, make hot apple cider, cuddle by a bon fire, enjoy life......

Chivalry......

Is Chivalry dead?  Are single women not supposed to look for the knights in shining armor?  What about a gentleman holding the door for a woman?  A kind word, faithful to your word, or loyalty?  It amazes me how some men expect you to do their work even though you are a woman.  Being a single mom I have many of these.  Short example: I was working three jobs to make ends meet.  I needed my yard mowed.  My son, at that time was little and not heavy enough to keep the mower running.  I made a comment about it and a 'man' turned to me and said, "I will come over and SHOW you how to mow your yard then you can DO it yourself from now on!"  Really?!  I promptly told him no thanks.

So what is Chivalry by definition... A moral system that stated all knights should protect others who can not protect themselves.  Knights not only had to be strong but they were also extremely disciplined and were expected to use their power to protect the weak and defenseless.  Knights vowed to be loyal, generous, and "noble bearing."  Knights were required to tell the truth at all times and always respect the honor of women.  Knights were to fear God and maintain His Church.  Knights always kept their faith and never turned their back on a foe.  They were gallant warriors or gentlemen.  Is this gone? I believe there are a select few who still hold to this truth.  The Word of God emphasizes that a father or husband covers and protects his wife/daughters/women in society.  

And Caleb said, "I will give my daughter Acsah in marriage to the man who attacks and captures Kiriath Sepher."  Othniel, son of Kenaz, Caleb's younger brother, took it; so Caleb gave his daughter, Acsah to him in marriage.  One day when she came to Othniel, she urged him to ask her father for a field.  When she got off her donkey, Caleb asked her, "What can I do for you?"  She replied, "Do me a special favor.  Since you have given me land in the Negev, give me also springs of water."  Then Caleb gave her the upper and lower springs (Joshua 15:16-19)....Why did he give her the upper and lower springs.  Because Caleb was a different standard of man.  He knew if he only gave her the lower, then anyone could come and control her.  How?  By cutting off the water supply that flowed down from the upper spring.  By giving her both he gave her security, love, value, and destiny.  Caleb honored her.  

In the New Testament, Jesus shows us no matter what is happening in your life, you protect women.  He is being crucified and He so gently looks at His mother and tells her John will be her covering.  She is well taken care of .  

So why am I rambling on?  I want men to be men.  You say you are coming by at a certain time to help, be there ON TIME (not 5 hours later).  If you are helping a woman with mechanical problems, don't expect her to get under the hood to fix a problem you should have done.  

Last weekend it was pouring so hard we had to use the rapid setting on the windshield wipers.  A young teenage girl had ran out of gas in the middle of one of the busiest intersections in our town.  My son and daughter immediately jumped out of our car to help push her to safety.  An elderly woman stopped to help also.  After the car was pushed into a parking lot entrance, one other man jumped out to help.  I literally watched 20-30 cars with men in them go by us.  What happened to "expected to use their power to protect the weak and defenseless."  What if that had been your daughter?! 

I encourage men to be men.  Dads to be dads.  Fathers to be fathers.  Friends to be friends.  Spiritual fathers to be Spiritual fathers.  Speaking from experience, it is utterly frustrating and makes one feel helpless.  Security is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give.....

Determining factors.....

Interesting how events in our lives impact generations to come.  Many times we pigeon hole ourselves to believe we can only do one thing in life.  "What do you want to do when you grow up" is often asked in school to determine the path you will walk down.  What if...there are many things you are suppose to do.  When I was growing up, my parents worked for General Motors.  They worked 40 hour weeks, had three weeks paid vacation and holidays off.  We planned our lives around their job.  In the summer we would pack up a 32 foot RV and hit the road.  I have had the rare opportunity to see 42 of our 50 states.  At the end of the vacation, 'back to the ole grind' my dad use to say.  But what if it didn't have to be that way? What if we are to live adventurous lives, see every situation as an opportunity, and impact generations.

I believe every decision we make, no matter how big or small, will direct the future.  Example, a teacher made a decision to move back to California last November.  Because of her decision, an opportunity for me to step back into teaching opened up.  From that decision I sought Daddy's direction for my life if I was to sign a contact for the following year.  I heard yes.  So I continued on that path.  Now I have fallen in love with nine precious little lives, instructing, nurturing, and sometimes pushing them to become strong Godly adults.  They in turn are taking their knowledge and touching lives around them.  

Another example is a friend of mine believed Daddy was directing him down a certain path.  He had written the vision down, had agreement with his wife, and covered it with prayer.  Circumstances changed with the church he was attending and his whole dream crumbled before his eyes.  He immediately hit his knees and asked God if he 'missed' it.  Daddy spoke to his heart in a profound way. Sometimes others' decisions can change the direction of your path.  Decisions impact generations.

What if...Joseph didn't believe in his dreams.  What if...Moses didn't believe his destiny came from a burning bush.  What if...Rahab thought all she could be was a prostitute.  What if...A certain man had 'put away' his betrothed wife who was pregnant with the Messiah.  What if...You never consider the importance of following your God given dreams....

So what is my point....We should take nothing lightly.  Everything we do touches generations to come. I am not here just by chance or because of a cosmic bang.  I have purpose, destiny, and I make a difference.  And so do you.....

Hard times.............

So I was encouraged to blog on a more regular basis today. This year has been so hard, full of disappointments, loss, pain, hurt, healing, changes........many times I wonder, "Do people really want to know about what life has thrown at me?"  I guess it is the lessons learned along the way.  As I was sitting in church today, I realized there are things missing in my life.  Important things, but God's grace is sufficient.  There are moments where I feel so intimately connected with my Daddy and other times like I am out there flapping. But if I continue to look to Him, hold tight to His hand, each step counts. Hopefully, I can help others along my journey....................

Standards....

A couple weeks ago someone asked why I haven't been blogging.  I replied, "I have been walking through some horrible stuff.  Don't think anyone wants to read about THAT!"  Well, I changed my mind.  When you are walking through CRAP, it is amazing how everyone has the 'right' answer, great advise, and can show you EXACTLY where you are wrong.  They say things that cut deep or are their opinions that don't even make sense.  Thus the reason for 'this' blog....


A couple days ago I found out a close friend betrayed my confidence to someone else.  This other person began making judgment calls on me and my family, instead of coming to us directly.  They stated that "our family is so hurt and we would never find a church that will meet up to our standards!"  Hhhmmm.... Of course that one stuck with me a couple of days.  In conversations with Daddy, I, of course, brought this up quite a few times.  My standard for the Church: I believe that my standard for the Church is reflected in the New Testament.  Peter described it, Timothy preached it, Paul died for it.  I believe it begins with LOVE.  And there is no ending to this Love.  It is unconditional, lays down its life for others, full of hope, kindness, generous, all encompassing, secure, tried and tested.  Isn't that the CHURCH that Christ DIED for! Wasn't that His vision, for us to walk whole and complete, if not why did He come to earth?


One of the kewl ways that Daddy shows me things is through dreams and visions.  In my opinion the difference between a dream and vision is your eyes are shut in one and opened in the other.  So after mulling these comments over and over, Daddy showed me a picture of 'the church' and how many are run.  Especially the ones where people are still bleeding and hurting, and needing others to reach out and help them through life.....


So I 'saw' a fire chief, firefighter, and two EMTs rush to a scene.  The scene had a man trapped in a car bleeding and in excruciating pain.  The fire chief ordered the firefighter to get the Spreader (Jaws of Life) which he did and laid at the chief's feet.  The EMTs had huge black medical bags filled with medicine to take away the pain, gauze, bandages, splints, everything the trapped man would need.  All four of these people stood so the trapped man could see them.  The chief yelled loud and clearly, "Come sir to us, we HAVE ALL YOU NEED to heal, stop bleeding, to save your life, BUT you have to come and get it.  You have to come and take part of ALL the programs and training courses we offer so you can be a 'whole' person.  We are right here waiting for you to get connected." I sensed the chief  represented a pastor.  I immediately started crying.  Dear God is that how the 'church' is run today?! My heart was grieved.  How many of US sit in church, live next to neighbors, work with co-workers, who are just like that man trapped?  We have ALL they need and we want them to 'get connected', to 'reach' out to others, to come get involved in programs, when all they need is love, healing, and restoration.  O MY GOD! PLEASE don't let me walk through this whole painful walk and not use these vital lessons. What my family is walking through--we are the one in the car trapped and needing love, healing, and restoration, not programs, gossip, and harsh words.  Let me reach out daily to others and help them where they are in life, even in my pain and bleeding.  Keep my heart soft and tender to hear others' needs.  Let others hear mine.  


On my quest, I pray I learn what I need to learn quickly so I do not have to repeat the lesson.  I have discovered a great deal about others and myself.  And I cling tightly to Daddy's hand......

A Broken Heart.....

How do you heal from a broken heart.... How do you get passed the anger.... It is a DEATH and there must be a grieving period.  Daddy sends warriors to defend, comfort, protect, and console you as you trudge through the agony.  


First there is 'shock and denial'.... No this can't be happening.  I prayed.  Didn't I hear clearly? How can I change this NOW?!  As a strong arm comes around you, the warrior's voice whispers, "Yes, you did hear from God.  You were walking on the path laid before you.  But the other person has a free will also.  They have chose to walk away.  Holy Spirit is grieved also and potential is lost."  Tears flow and breath is gasped.  Where do you go from here?!  To pick up all the shattered pieces.  


Next flows pain and guilt....  As the shock begins to wear off, it is abruptly replaced with suffering of unbelievable pain!  It is excruciating and almost unbearable but we must experience the pain fully so we can grow from this place.  This is a scary place to stand at.  There isn't light, yet.... Then the another warrior's voice speaks, "Don't hold back crying.  This is a death in your life and must be treated as such.  Tears bring healing and sanity to the chaos that is surrounding you."  


Then comes the anger....  It flows and sometimes is hard to control.  Little things ignite it.  People asking questions, a song, a look.  The scenarios play out in your mind and even in your dreams.  Realization of lies come to light.  Again the warrior's voice bellows through the darkness, "You have the right to be angry.  Take that anger to the throne room.  Let Daddy hear your pain raging in you so His Holy Presence can mold and shape your spirit into a beautiful woman."  


Just when 'most people' think you should be getting on with your life, a period of sad reflection will overtake you.  This is normal.  During these moments, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss and it depresses you.  Through reflecting, you see how strong and valuable you are.  Your independence shines through to express the amazing diamond you have always been.  The warrior reaffirms this by expressing, "You are an expensive, valuable diamond.  If a man is not going to sacrifice to get you then he can go elsewhere to get cheap jewelry.  You can't make yourself trust someone.  They have to build that up.  You are mature in your spiritual walk with Daddy.  Trust Him.  You are worth fighting for."  


Finally, working through, acceptance and hope rushes in... the warriors' chime in together, "Don't let this kill the dreams you've been dreaming... Pray your boundaries not boxes!  Boundaries can be different shapes where boxes are only squares.  Boundaries shape your heart's desires and dreams.  They give Daddy all the creative room He needs to sculpt your future.  You have grown. You know you won't compromise or degrade yourself to someone else's standards.  You are stronger, bolder, and a rare jewel..."  A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her.  


In writing this, healing has come even more to me and my family.  We have been through hell and back in the last two years.  We have experienced many heart-breaks, devastating experiences, and lose of loved ones.  I really debated on writing this.  My intention is not to hurt others.  (Which I usually hear through the grape vine that I offended 'someone'.)  I want to express honor and respect towards the warriors that Daddy have placed in our lives.  We could NOT have walked through this life without them.  Thank you Jean, Ken, Knobby, Dale, and Josh.  We love you......

Purity....I mean Puberty

Hilarious...... I asked permission to post this.  Remember I am a teacher and the stories never stop coming.


The other day, in one of the classrooms, a student just blurted out the word 'PUBERTY'.  (They must have heard the word from somewhere and had been thinking about it)  The teacher raised an eyebrow.  The student asked quizzitvely, "What does that word mean?"  The teacher explained this was a discussion for their parents to have with them.  The other students began chiming in.  "What does it mean?  Is it bad?  Is it good? Why won't you tell us?"  The teacher persisted that they wait until the get home and discuss this as a family matter.  One of the students had a bright idea....they would look the word up in the dictionary.  So a mad dash was made to the class dictionary.  Well, the student looked up the incorrect word.  Instead of reading the definition for 'puberty', they read the definition for 'purity'.  


Purity: The condition or quality of being pure; freedom from guilt or evil; innocence....


The students immediately started asking the teacher why she didn't want to discuss 'puberty'.  It was a good thing to be pure, free from guilt or evil.  They were innocence.  They wanted puberty. Puberty is a good thing.  Everyone should want puberty.  They even began to chant about having puberty.  The teacher had to stop them and explain they MUST have a discussion with their parents regarding 'puberty'.....


When the teacher was telling this story, I was in tears laughing so much.  Life lesson: when you don't know what a word means, always use a dictionary :)

Is God silent as we walk through life......

It is amazing how Daddy loves to get all His children on the same page.  As I was sitting in church today, the pastor says, "God is often silent in some situations, but that does not reflect how He feels about you."  I had just had a conversation with my daughter regarding this.  Daddy's silence does NOT mean disapproval.  In fact when He is quiet, many time He is thrilled with us.  He doesn't need to voice His directions every second if He has given His mature sons and daughters a specific Word.  We are doing well walking out His command.  He will, however, give us reassurance when we ask.  


I gave an illustration to my daughter.  When she was learning how to walk, she would hold on to everything and not let go.  We tried to get her to walk across the living room floor without holding on to anything.  Nope, she would plop her butt down and crawl to the other side.  So I got some wooden clothes pins.  She held on to one end and I held on to the other.  I walked her across the living room floor eight to ten times.  Each time I would encourage her on the outstanding job she was doing.  Then one time I let go without her knowing. She walked the complete breadth of the room without my help.  When she looked up for my encouragement, she realized I was not holding on anymore.  Thus she immediately plopped down.  But I squealed with delight on how great and awesome she did.  Her face lit up.  Then we walked back across the room together, me holding the clothes pins with her.  Eventually, she gained enough confidence that she was walking EVERYWHERE without my assistance.  


Isn't that how Daddy is with us!  He holds our hand, gives us directions, and walks with us.  He is so delighted when we step out on faith and trust that He IS there, cheering us on.  Don't allow your present situation to determine your future....  Daddy's Words are true and steadfast.  If He has said it, it will come to pass.  Continue to walk by faith, ask for reassurance, and know He cannot leave you.  How does He feel about you?  He LOVES you!  He loves you when you plop your butt down and crawl to your destination.  He loves you when you cry out, "I don't get it.  Why is this taking soooooo long?"  He loves you when you are hurting, bloody, and desperate to be held by Him.  He loves you when you fall flat on your face.  Daddy loves!  We have to grasp this so deep in our spirit.  We are made in His image and are and will always be connected to Him by His LOVE... It is who He is.  When the boss let's you go from a job, when your husband says there is someone else, when the diagnosis is cancer, when there isn't enough money to pay the bills, when the doctors says you have lost a child, when your parents step into eternity, when close friends and spiritual leaders walk away, when you are lonely and want just to be held, when..... Daddy is LOVE.  He is there to hold the 'clothes pins' in life and watch you successfully walk across the floor.  How do I KNOW this.... I have successfully walked through each and every one of those circumstances. My Daddy LOVES!!!

Another Joy Ride......

I was talking with a friend the other day.  She lives a great distance from me.  She expressed how my blogs have encouraged her.  I have taken a lot of grief, backlash, and criticism for my blogs.  It was awesome to hear that it has helped someone.  I began to pray regarding it.  Daddy reassured me that it was His calling on me and I was to continue..... So here we go on another ride with Daddy holding my hand.


In deep conversation with my 20 year old daughter, I began to cry.  The trials, tribulations, tears, hardships and pain I have walked through was overwhelming. Many have no clue.  Even recently, I have been crushed to the core.  I was taken aback by the tremendous love and compassion that my Daddy had overtaken me with.  My Daddy LOVES me.... 


Isn't it perfectly normal and healthy to ask Daddy about things we are facing in our life!  This is part of our relationship with Him.  What is deep down inside us is important to us and Daddy.  It is who we are.  It is the strength, integrity, and fortitude of who we are.  Expressed through love.  Love....it is an unbreakable covenant.  This love that laid down His life for me is unchanging, unmeasured, has no fear in it, seals me for eternity, is greater than any force, is proven and secure.  There is absolute integrity, full of protection, and gives me approval.  We are made in His image, stamped with approval.  That is why we don't handle rejection well.  We are accepted.  Daddy never withdraws love.   Sometimes all I have is His Word....  I am worth everything to Him.  How do I know? The price was paid.  My spirit is brought into the Kingdom.  I have all access.  I am His Beloved...  


I confided in someone the other day how hurt I was.  I used the word 'crushed'.  I could hear Daddy's love flow through them as they said, "To be crushed is a good sign it means your heart is soft...it is when our heart is not crushed that we know we are in trouble...."  My Daddy loves me.  The degree of true love that flows forth from us can best be measured by our ability to forgive those who have unjustly wounded us.


So where do I turn now?!  My blinker is on, I am looking both ways, waiting for a clear path.... I hear Daddy say, "forward".  I grab tightly to His hand and I feel His other arm sweep around me and pick me up.  Close to His heart I hear, "We are beginning a new adventure.  Breakthrough is NOW.  Hope is alive.  My faith is stronger by the works I do.  Speak, touch, hold, listen, dream, and share MY LOVE." We are on a joy ride....

Second Grade.....

Well, I am a second grade teacher now.  Didn't think I would step back into this field, but I did.  I keep a journal about things that make me laugh, grin, or giggle by these precious little ones.  They cannot keep secrets, they tell it like it is, and anything can pop out of their mouths.  Today, I am sharing a few of the priceless moments that have occurred.


We were studying 'bones'.  I was explaining that bones are alive and one reason we can prove this is because they reproduce themselves about every five years.  One of my students could not contain the revelation of this and belted out "I have been replaced!!"  I giggled for the rest of the day....


Two of my young gentlemen were walking on the sidewalk between the buildings.  The conversation went something like this....
"So why do we like 'him'? asked one student.  "Duh, because of his hair!!" stated the second student.  (Remember, these are second graders.  Maybe hair is a qualification for friendship...lol)


Coming in from recess, one of my gentlemen stated to the young ladies in from of him that he knew 'quite a few girls who want to marry him'.... He just needs to grow a little more :)


And the last one I will share today was about our President.  We were discussing where he lives.  One gentlemen spoke up and said, "Obama lives in the White House."  A second student, not quite paying attention stated back, "Bombs don't live in houses!"  Lesson learned, pay closer attention to the conversation at hand.


I hope at least one of these brought a smile to your day.... Stay tuned for more to come......

2012

2011 was HELL!  I lived through it.  Did I pray? Yes.  Did I give thanks? Yes.  Did I preach the gospel, lead people to Christ, minister, love Daddy with everything in me?  Yes, yes, yes and YES!  But it was a horrible year!  I walked through some ugly trials, hurtful situations, and loneliness beyond belief.  It wasn't just on one front but from every direction.  I took three pay cuts before being let go.  I lost so many 'friends' who weren't real friends at all.  I cried out for healing for me and my family.  And I cried a lot..... 


On New Year's Eve, I cried out for such a break through.  I felt it break in the heavenlies.  Ephesians 6:13 in the Weymouth New Testament says, "Therefore put on the complete armor of God, so that you may be able to stand your ground on the day of battle, and, having fought to the end, to remain victors on the field."  That is IT!  Daddy doesn't look at me and say, "Why didn't you do this or that?"  He looks to see if I was strong and obedient to His Word.  At the end of the day it is His Word that I cling to, hold on to, breathe life from.  Many say how 'strong and bold' I am.... That is the armor of God they see.  My Daddy sees me humbly on my face before His throne crying out to the Living God.  He is the One who holds the little girl trembling in me.  I am the victor on the battlefield standing with the Armies of the Most High God.  The ground I am standing on is firm, sure, and engulfs me in total love.  The sword I wield is flaming with passion that impact eternity. 


2012 is a year to decree... to decree desires, to decree increase of love, peace, strength, purity, answered prayers, health, prosperity, power, revelation, wisdom, joy, and intimacy with my Daddy.... Godly hope is tangible.  Hope established in faith.  Settle it in faith and remain victors on the field.....

Breaking.....

Many times we go through rough storms that  are so turbulent that there seems like no hope, no light...  Then in the spirit realm we feel it.  Something breaks.... It is so loud that you feel it down into your most inner core.  As the storm clouds begin to dissipate, rays of hope, courage, and determination begin to grow.   My family and I are there.....